No competition

A little while ago I wrote an article on winning poetry competitions for Mairi Sharratt's blog, A Lump In the Throat.

It got crap reviews so I thought I'd share it with you! Enjoy

http://alumpinthethroat.wordpress.com/2010/12/21/enough-with-scratch-cards-how-to-enter-and-win-poetry-competitions/#comments


Russell Jones

Eargh, you stink!

Ever wonder why you stink so much? I mean, you wash, right? You use sanitary products. And yet you still reek of failure, self loathing and -worst of all- humanity.

Well maybe it's in your genes. There have been many objections to genetic selection throughout history, though more recently against those freakish (wo)men in white coats who help you recover from cancer but "ought not play god".

Well pah. Pish and pith posh.

Genetic selection has been going on since boy met girl, since dinosaur ate falafel. You're probably selecting which gene carriers won't make it to conception right now, on your filthy pleasure-flannel. Wash out yer eyes! Filth.

And this be the premise of my "3rd place" poem written for the Genomics Forum's poetry competition, which held the theme of "Improving the Human".

The winning and runner up poems can be read on this site: http://www.genomicsnetwork.ac.uk/forum/news/title,24368,en.html

and the judges' report here
(http://www.genomicsnetwork.ac.uk/media/judges_report.pdf) - so far as I can tell they're a pretty good bunch.






Russell Jones

Fear of The Main Land

A little sonnet of mine has appeared, fairy-like, on Euonia (a site whose name makes me think they're against banana straightening)

Oh and it's Burn's Night, for a' that. Eat haggis. Retch. Eat some more.


http://eunoiareview.wordpress.com/2011/01/26/lights/



Russell Jones

A Word from the Scottish Poetry Library

Synthia is 42, alone, hungry and in need of a sense of humour. Just two pounds a month could help her to open a collection of Hegley. Don't let her suffer in silence, Improve The Human.

Come along to the Scottish Poetry Library on Saturday 29th January (2-4pm) to find out about the possible connections between genomics and poetry and to hear who the winners of the Genomics Forum Poetry Competition are. Synthia will thank you.

Saturday 29 January, 2 - 4pm

Genomics Poetry Competition: Prize giving and reading Have you ever wondered what genetics and poetry have in common? Join us to find out, as we host a reading by the winners of the ERSC Genomics and Scottish Poetry Library poetry competition. Free | all welcome

Edinburgh Scottish Poetry Library, 5 Crichton's Close, Canongate

Russell Jones

1000 Clicks

I have come down from the dizzying heights of celebrity stardom to address you, the common folk.

Yes all the rumours you've heard in the news, the papers, magazines and movies are true: the blog has, since August 2010, had over 1000 visitors. Let us pray.

To celebrate this triumphant moment in mankind's history I will allow your mortal eyes to gaze upon a work of such gravitas and splendour that it sits atop the papier roll beside by porcelain throne.  Prepare yourself for the masterpiece that is mine own work: "Pooey Monkey"

Enjoy this aesthetic treat, visit again. Now go away.




Russell Jones

Some Edwin Morgan Stuffs

You may remember that the Scots Makar, Edwin Morgan, died earlier this year. A sad thing indeed, though there have been a number of quality tributes in the form of readings and publications.

One such tribute is from Swiss Lounge Productions and includes photography and poetry from:
Morgan Downie
Tracy Markey
Paul Nandy
Michael Conley
Richie McCaffrey
Russell Jones
Andrew C Ferguson
Colin Will
Lachlan Renwick

The complete item can be found here in pdf (it's a bit slow, be patient!)
http://swissloungeproductions.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/strawberries.pdf


A small tribute note of mine was also published alongside others in Steve Sneyd's (of Hilltop Press, leading expert in science fiction poetry) Data Dump pamphlet for December 2010, which should contain a review of my Last Refuge sci-fi poetry collection in the new year.


Peace, Jacobites



Russell Jones

Proof Test

I tend never to drink when I write, or write when drinking (whichever starts first wins out).

But at 4am this Christmas morning I broke the taboo and pumped out a piece whilst slurring on Black Russians. Then I wrote a poem. After waking and sobering up I decided to write another -

Here's the test: which poem do you prefer?  They're both first drafts, obviously, but perhaps this proof test will allow Mr Vodka to hold the pen more often...


Russell Jones

Re-entry

we were burned up on re-entry

burned up and cast out like ashes

like ashes in an instant in a flash

a flash of separation one body

one body thudding against another

against another body and we embraced

we embraced between the atoms

between the atoms and smiled stupid

stupid really as death was imminent

imminent enough and we knew it

we knew it but we smiled as the earth

the earth honed into view bold

bold and blue and devastating

devastating in one way but beautiful

beautiful as the temperature grew

grew so quickly we were vapour

vaporised in a flash one body

one body drifting through another

through another in a flash of separation

separation cast out like ashes

like ashes burned up and bought together

bought together at last in vacuum

Converse

Boys are dogs at car windows
Girls are spiced rum

Morning is position four
Night is thin shins on bed legs

Monday is the coldest month
Friday is cranberries

Hate is mustard
Love is a thumb war

Doors are a waste of central heating and therefore the whole environment
Windows are great

Television is duvets and chocolate and possibly marshmallows
Books are work

Wine is calorific, carcinogenic but preferable
Beer is cheap

Work is a nightmare
Leisure is attainable

Children are someone else’s noise box
Old age is piss

Science is convenient
Art is a room

Christmas is the 25th of December
New Year is troublesome

Parsnips are neither here nor there
Vodka is fantastic

Light is conversation
Darkness is the in fold of my wallet

Happiness is welcoming
Depression is a derelict roasting tray

The future is every colour other than orange
The past is a drawer

Confinement is marmalade
Space is a jar

You are the planet Earth

I am the last cosmonaut